I cry a lot.
The fact that I cry a lot always fascinated me.
“Why am I actually crying?” – I’ve asked myself this so many times. Usually it ends up with a simple answer “Because I am happy”. I have realised I cried the most when I feel happy.
I love this idea. I love the idea of being so overwhelmed with happiness that something so powerful happens. The idea of being so happy or overwhelmed by something that my body reacts to it…there is a physical response for what is happening in my brain and I can not control it. That is fascinating to me. Even just typing this amazes.
A few days ago I watched the video I linked below and guess what…it made me cry. Not because it taught me something I didn’t know but because it made so much sense to me. Because I wasn’t the only one who could relate to this theory.
After watching the video I thought of the main things that make me cry. The first one without a doubt is my great-grandad who died when I was young. It is very hard for me to talk about him without crying, even thinking about him makes me emotional. I have realised now that I cry because he is so beautiful. Whenever I think of him I see someone so caring, so genuing, so simple..he was patient and tolerant. His words were soft and his stories fascinating…he would talk for hours, but he knew when to listen or stay silent. He was thoughtful and wise. He always had a sparkle in his eyes…but he looked tired, his hands were cold and at one point he didn’t know my name but he was still beautiful to me. Looking back now, I am so grateful for all the times I got to introduce myself and say “I am your granddaughter” and then listen to his stories. He is my role model, my hero, my ambition, my goal…if one day I can come close to his beauty I am happy. This is why I cry…because he is so beautiful.
I am slowly changing the way I see or interprete the things that make me cry. Slowly trying to turn the things I interpret as “sad” into “happy” things. Missing my boyfriend and having to say goodbye to him can definitely be put into this category of “things”. I used to think I cried because I had to say goodbye and not see him for a long time, but in fact I cry because of the beautiful feelings we have for each other…these powerful feelings that I never expected to feel exist! And they are much more powerful and beautiful than I ever imagined they would be. It is bigger than my mind could ever imagine…that is why I cry.
LIVE A LIFE THAT MAKES YOU CRY! Live a life that inspires you! Live a life that surprises you! Live a life that is bigger than your mind. Live a life that amazes you! A life that is more beautiful that you could have imagined. Go to places you don’t know exist. Surprise your mind with different sounds. Taste as many foods as you can. Read something you never read before. Maybe just talk! Talk about how you feel about certain things.
Make your life a life that you cry for. Make your life more beautiful than you ever expected it to be.